[It’s a smaller venue, only seats 5000 people, but the arena is full to capacity with Shootfire fans braving the foul weather to enjoy the very FIRST Ascension. The crowd is slowly moving towards their seats, for what promises to be an eventful evening. There is electricity in the air. Cutting backstage, we find the smaller venue has led to a rather cramped locker room. Less than familiar or recognizable faces, make the most of it, with more pleasant greetings and laughter echoing through the halls than fistfights. In the far corner of the room, The Children preach the greatness of The Family to DEATHKNELL whose finding them increasingly boring. For his part the deep voiced Barbarian scans the crowded backroom with glowing red eyes for Whisper, who happens to be a fucking dead man. No luck thus far. The Nerdz delight having found a wifi connection they can check their ebay auctions with. Doctor Who Vs EastEnders is almost within their grasp... couldn’t this just be the best night of their lives? A ring veteran, Johnny Pain is no longer the butt of jokes, and actually woos a few of the boys with his stories of past glories. Through the merry mess stomps the ill-tempered Shootfire Devil, who shoves a few boys out of the way, crawling on top of a table to elevate himself above the mass. Or ascend.]
[Clears throat...]
[Conversations continue...]
[FORCED hacking cough does the trick...]
[All eyes turn to the table, where Vile Vince Viper looms over them, looking like the prince of darkness at the end of Fantasia...]
Vile Vince Viper: ...Welcome to Assscensssion...
Frank Wilkes: Great to be...uh...
[Cold dead eyes force the registered sex offender to slink back into the crowd...]
Vile Vince Viper: This is the FIRSSST SSSHOW... a clean ssslate... it has all the promisssssse in the world. It can be anything it wants to be, the flag ship, the foundation, the hub... or the B show. I look out at you... I see new facesss... I see returning facesss that need to catch a break... I see guys who are unproven. ...But don’t take that the wrong way, I wouldn’t headline a show... wouldn’t put my SSSTAMP of quality on it, if I didn’t think highly of the undercard. Now... on Conquest... SSSPW decides to provide the fans with a special Night of Championssssss... I wasssn’t there... were YOU there?!?!?!?!??!!?!
Ben the Wrestling Bear: RAAAAAAAAAAAAARRR.
Vile Vince Viper <holding up hand>: Rhetorical Marisssssssssssssa. No, you weren’t there. You... WE aren’t championsss, what does that make usss?
Retarded Dan: Challengers?
Vile Vince Viper <again using hands to encourage silence>: No, again, the challengersss would have been on THAT show to take on the championsss. You must be kind of retarded... how did you even get in here?
Gemini Twin #2: He’s my cousin.
Vile Vince Viper: Well take him outssside while the fully functioning brains have a meeting of the mindsss. I don’t want to have to create a time machine, just so I can go into the past and prevent his retarded assssssss from being born. I don’t like taking political ssstandsss in interviews, but I am <demonstrates with fingers> THISSS CLOSSSE to creating a GOD DAMNED time machine to get a little ressspect for my monologue!!!
Retarded Dan: Oh no!
[Falling for the time machine threat, Spooky Doom’s #1 fan runs out of the room, chased by his cousins. Time travel, gets them every time. Feeling a headache coming on, Vile rubs his temple...]
Vile Vince Viper: Now you’re not the championsss, you’re not the challengersss; you must be the other guy. In the eyes of the brasssssssss, your expendable... only a step up from ring crew. You guys are the LOSSSERSSS. ...But I don’t see any LOSSSERSSS in front of me... I see winnersss... I see the future challengersss, CHAMPIONSSS of this company. When people are buying action figures of the world champion, and wondering: where did it all start? They’ll look to THIS night... to Assscensssion, the beginning of the dream!
Jean Pierre Celine: Wow.
Vile Vince Viper <infamous sneer>: Not you. You have no future; you’re a dead man walking. <grin> Now if wressstling fans could ever clean up, and get their acts together long enough to get REAL jobs with office coolers... and exchanged small talk over said coolers about WRESSSTLING. I want them talking about the exciting new world of Assscensssion, and not the tired, boring Night of Championsss bullssshit on Conquessst. When you go out there tonight, YOU’RE not just ssstealing OUR ssshow, your ssstealing THEIR thunder!!! This is where you become WINNERSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. This is where the UNDER DOGSSS become the ALPHA DOGSSS!
Thisss isss YOUR chance.
Be all you can be, and MORE...
Sssoar to NEW heightsss.
Reach for that golden ring...
You can rissse to the top...
Thisss isss YOUR Assscensssion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[The boys burst out in cheers for this rousing, if initially degrading and depressing sentiment.]
Vile Vince Viper: ...Except for you Jamesss. I’m a glasssssssssss ceiling, and I don’t see you assscending much higher <pointing> than my ballsssssssssss. ...But everyone else good luck...
[On that note, Vile jumps off the table, trying to make his way to a private dressing room without looking in any of the help’s eyes. If only he could do an entire show by himself. Still, he gives the best worst pep talks in the game, and the boys seem fired up. Or angry. One of the two. We fade to an advertisement for Wrestlebowl.]
The Passing Of The Torch Begins In April.
Johnny Pain vs Castro Shaw
[We cut back to the ring where new ring announcer, the blonde Emily Faith is standing in the center, wearing a silver Givenchy dress, adjusting her cards as she raises the microphone to her lips.]
Emily: The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a ten minute time limit.
[The lights go out over the arena and the silky streams of an electric guitar begin playing over the sound system.]
"Before you hedge those bets you placed against me
Be reticent of fortunes they foretell
Your verbal defecation i can't wash away despite myself
Your vanity, it seems, has served you well."
[After the lyrics end and a rocking guitar solo comes through, the lights cut back on and there stands Johnny Pain. He's decked out in his entire wrestling gear; black tights with blue lightning bolts striking down halfway down. On the back of the tights, "Pain" is written clearly in dark red and is an old English language font.]
[THUNDEROUS FACE POP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
"You're so quick to choose the path walked by the righteous
So you can go and nest among the weak
The innocent observers will refuse to find the lie within
Renew the disappointment of the meek."
[Now the music really starts cranking up as Johnny rips his T-shirt from off his torso and throws it into the crowd. The tape wrapping up along his wrist and over the upper part of his hands have writing on them that no one really pays attention to. Johnny starts heading down to the ring while tagging the fans' hands down the aisle.]
"You're no Jesus Christ!
You're no Jesus Christ!"
[Johnny makes his way to the ring and climbs up the steps and jumps up onto the second rope, throwing his arm up to the crowd. Johnny then jumps over the turnbuckle and into the ring. As he lands he heads over to the corner and jumps up onto the middle rope, pointing to the fans and mouthing things that can't be heard clearly.]
"You keep takin' over
I keep rollin' over
I can't take it anymore."
[Johnny drops down and heads to the opposite corner and proceeds to do the same thing as before. Johnny looks around at the fans on their feet and throws his arms up into the air giving them the respect that they are giving him.]
"Before you hedge those bets you placed against me
Be reticent of fortunes they foretell
Your verbal defecation I can't wash away despite myself
Your vanity, it seems, has served you well."
[The music dies down as Johnny heads to his corner and begins stretching his limbs and gets ready for the match ahead of him.]
"You keep takin' over
I keep rollin' over
I can't take it anymore."
Emily: THE FOLLOWING MATCH IS SET FOR ONE FALL! IN THE RING AT THIS TIME... FROM WINSTON SALEM NORTH CAROLINA, WEIGHING IN AT TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY FIVE POUNDS... THIS IS JOHNNYYY PAAAAAIIIINN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[FANS CHEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Sharp: Johnny Pain in the ring as he gets set to face off against "The Love Blender" Castro Shaw.
Vik: Let me tell you something, Jackie boy. Castro Shaw already has quite a stigma attached to him without even stepping foot in an SPW ring. And anyone who has seen his vignettes on Shootfire 24/7 will agree as well.
Faith: And his opponent...
[Lights in the arena shut off as an echoing guitar begins to ring out over the PA system. Then we get the greatest quote in a movie, ever from "Roadhouse"]
VOICE: I used to fuck guys like you in prison!
[Then the stage lights up with fireworks as "Motherfucker of the Year" by Motley Crue rattles out a full blast over the PA system. More fireworks go off as the SPWTron fires off pictures of Charles Manson, Oprah, Will Smith, King George III, Pee-Wee Herman, Billy Mays, a kid in a cowboy hat holding two guns drawn and whole heap more in rapid succession.]
"I'm just the bone in your side
The disrespect in your eye
I can't control myself"
[Slowly the pictures pull back until there are a bunch of them flashing together and they spell out two words, those two words are none other than "CASTRO SHAW". Just then from the back walks out the man main himself in a very slick and smooth manner. He is accompanied to the ring by three masked midget wrestlers. Each of them has a name written across the front of their singlet - "Uno", "Dos," and "Tres."]
"I'm like the stain in your drain
I'm taking over your brain
'Cuz I can't help myself"
[Castro is wearing a US flag jacket with red and blue fringe hanging off of the sleeves, this of course matches his red, white and blue wrestling pants. He rubs his hands through his black curly hair and begins to make his way towards the ring... ignoring everyone on the way. The midgets stay on the outside of the ring taking up their positions.]
"Every time I turn my head
Why hear everything I said
Why I know they wish I'd go away."
[Shaw leaps up into the ring and quickly stands up on the turnbuckle where he holds his arms high into the air. He then slowly extends his middle fingers so that each and every one of the fans knows what Shaw thinks of them and for the cameras to cut away.]
"Here I am again
Hey now... hey now...
I'm the mother fucker of the year."
[The music fades as Shaw gives a smirk towards the crowd.]
Emily: AND HIS OPPONENT, FROM MIAMI, FLORIDA...HE WEIGHS IN TONIGHT AT TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY POUNDS... THE LOVE BLENDER....
CASTROOOOOOO SHAWWWWWW!!!
[FANS BOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Vik: See what I meant by stigma.
Jack: Absolutely. And what do you make of these midgets out at ringside?
Vik: Not quite sure other than there names seem to be Uno, Dos, and Tres.
*DING!DING!DING!*
Jack: And there's the opening bell. Both men lock up and Johnny Pain right out the gate hits a knee to the midsection of Castro Shaw. Shaw stunned for the moment and that allows Pain to take his opponent down with a back suplex.
Vik: Johnny Pain definitely the more veteran of these two men and it's going to take a bit for Castro Shaw to get acclimated here in SPW.
Jack: Pain picks up Shaw and plants him back down with a brainbuster. Now moving over to the ropes and waiting for Castro to get to his feet... off the side goes Johnny Pain and nails Castro Shaw with a leaping calf kick.
Vik: Castro Shaw on the mat and now Johnny Pain picking him up once more. Looks like he's going for a backbreaker... NO! Castro Shaw able to put up the block and rakes the face of Pain.
[BOOOOO!!!!]
Jack: Castro with the Irish whip to send Pain into the ropes... back comes Johnny Pain and Shaw gets caught with a dropkick.
Fans: JOHNNY! JOHNNY!
Vik: These fans getting behind Johnny Pain. I for one prefer to root for Castro Shaw. After all, the man clearly knows how to work a crowd.
Jack: Pain picks up Shaw.... TIGER SUPLEX! Referee Todd Luchessi makes the count...
1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vik: Shaw gets a shoulder up in time! Johnny Pain quick to switch things up and puts Castro Shaw in a Katahajime. That deadly choke submission applied on The Love Blender.
Jack: The referee checking to see if Shaw wants to submit but all Shaw seems to be doing is looking towards the ring ropes, hoping to break the hold.
Vik: Pain putting on more pressure as Shaw tries to maneuver towards the ropes.... WHAT'S THIS! Those midgets now up on the apron and Todd Luchessi telling them to get back on the floor.
Jack: AND SHAW IS TAPPING!!! JOHNNY PAIN HAS THIS MATCH WON IF ONLY THE REFEREE WOULD TURN AROUND!
Vik: Johnny Pain is frustrated and breaks the hold. Now those midgets which I'm being told are known as "Tres Pequeños Bastardos" are back on the floor as Pain argues with the official.
Jack: And rightly so. He should have his hand raised in victory but Todd Luchessi did not witness the tap out by Shaw who is back on his feet now. He grabs a hold of Pain and turns him around... chop to the chest catches Johnny Pain off guard and allows Castro Shaw to take him down with a bulldog.
Vik: Castro Shaw now going for a rear chinlock... Pain with the block and flips Shaw off of his back. Castro back to his feet and we have a staredown between the two men.
Jack: Pain with a chop to the chest of Shaw. And another. And a third one as these fans are cheering Johnny Pain on.
Vik: Shaw rocked back into the corner and here comes Johnny Pain with a running forearm.... NOBODY HOME! Castro Shaw slips aside at the last second and Johnny Pain ends up with a mouthful of turnbuckle.
[BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!]
Jack: Shaw hits a reverse Russian legsweep out of the corner, hitting Pain's head against the mat. Now up to the top turnbuckle goes Shaw....
Vik: BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE! Frog splash off the top turnbuckle hits the mark. Now the cover by Shaw as referee Todd Luchessi makes the count.
ONE!
TWO!
Jack: KICKOUT BY PAIN! Johnny Pain able to kick out after the two count but still on the mat feeling the effects of that frog splash from Castro Shaw.
Vik: And Castro Shaw talking to the referee. OH MAN! He just pulled out a big wad of cash from his tights and shoves it in Luchessi's hand.
Jack: Castro Shaw looking to try and pay off the official as he grabs Luchessi's arm and raises it in victory. I don't quite understand this but here comes Johnny Pain from behind. BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX FROM PAIN!
Vik: And Luchessi tossing that money out of the ring. What a sap! I TOTALLY would've taken the money and ran for the nearest exit.
Jack: Shaw back on his feet and gets caught with an enzuigiri by Pain. Now Pain has a hold of Castro's arm, looks to be going for an armbreaker submission. NO! He looks at those midgets on the floor and decides to pull Shaw to his feet.
Vik: STO from Pain and now Castro Shaw is locked in the center of the ring by Johnny Pain who just applied the Anaconda Vice.
Jack: UNO ON THE TURNBUCKLE! Referee Todd Luchessi distracted by these midgets once again. And of course Shaw tapping out.
Vik: Only Johnny Pain doesn't realize the referee is distracted. He just broke the hold thinking he won the match.
Jack: Pain up on his feet and OH MY!!! "Dos" with a running ram nailing Pain in the groin with his head. Castro Shaw now on his feet once more... he grabs a hold of Johnny Pain...
[FANS BOOOOOOOO!!!!]
Jack: HIT PUREE!!!!
Vik: Castro Shaw with the inverted double underhook facebuster. The referee turns around and all he sees is Shaw on top of Pain. The count...
ONE!!
TWO!!
THREE!!!!
Jack: CASTRO SHAW IS YOUR WINNER!
Vik: And not even wasting any time as he scrambles to his feet and bails out of the ring with those "Bastardos" right behind him.
[The lights go out..................]
"DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM"
[No sooner do they come back on, then Johnny Pain is sent FLYING into the fourth row. The man that just power bombed him out of the ring, stands atop the top rope. Glowing red eyes flickering with hate as he looks DOWN at the unconscious veteran. If the crowd had caught Pain, he might not have bounced. Chairs are crushed under his small frame; Pain looks like he has broken ribs. Taking in the suffering is the former lord, DEATHKNELL. The Family still making good on their promise to turn Shootfire into a warzone...]
DEATHKNELL: ...PAIN... YOU DON’T KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD. YOU WERE GOOD AT ELIMINATING ME WITH THE HELP OF A DOZEN OTHER COWARDS... BUT CAN YOU STAND ON YOUR OWN TOO FEET? CAN YOU BE A MAN, PAIN? I HOPE SO... FOR YOUR SAKE. BECAUSE IF YOU CAN’T MAN-UP, YOUR IN FOR A PITIFULLY SHORT EXISTENCE. I HAVE SEEN THE FLAMES OF YOUR PASSION, NOW EMBERS... THEY WILL BE EXTINGUISHED. YOU AREN’T SETTING THE SHOOTFIRE WORLD ON FIRE, PAIN... YOU WILL, OR YOU’LL DIE. PICK YOURSELF UP... BRUSH YOURSELF OFF... MEET YOUR FATE, OR BE CRUSHED BY IT. YOU HAVE DRAWN MY ATTENTION PAIN... PRAY YOU SURVIVE IT...
[CROWD BOOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Jack: Well, more random attacks from the Family, but I’m sensing a personal motivation behind this one. WILL YOU STOP HIDING DOWN THERE, VIK?!
Vik: I’m not hiding! I just dropped my contact lens...
Jack: Deathknell looking for some revenge for his elimination back at Charity Carnage. Much like Conquest, he’s still a raw force, but he’s a lot more spiteful since joining the family.
Vik: Yeah, my former protégé was a broken man after the Invasion; The Family took him, gave him a new purpose, and set him loose. ...Unfortunately, much like Dolph Lundgren in Universal Soldier, the crazy bastard REMEMBERS... he’s not just a mindless killing machine. He has those beady red lights set on revenge.
Jack: Well, it was nice broadcasting with you.
Vik: We were FRIENDS damn it.
"DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM"
[Having worked the crowd up into a frenzy, The Family’s monstrous enforcer sets his sights on the backstage curtains...]
DEATHKNELL: ...WHISPER... IT SEEMS THE BOOKING GODS HAVE A GRIM SENSE OF HUMOUR... BUT RATHER THAN EXCEPT MY ROLE AS shouting man... I WILL BREAK FREE OF THIS DISGUSTING IN-JOKE. YOU ARE A PROMSING STAR, WHISPER... A SHOOTING STAR WHO COULD SOAR RIGHT TO THE TOP... BUT YOU ARE ONE STAR THAT GETS EXTINGUISHED TONIGHT. WHISPER... DO YOU HEAR IT...? THE CHIMING... THOSE BELLS... THEY TOLL FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM#
[The lights lower again, as the imposing figure of DEATHKNELL awaits his opponent, and Vik Avatar slumps further into his chair.]
Jack: Well as Ascension continues on, we have our first look at two new Superstars joining the roster, future Champions I am sure Ladies and Gentlemen here's your introduction of sorts to Kaycee Tanner and Grace Kerr!!!
[Kaycee Tanner is standard built for a women's wrestler (IE shes not tiny but shes not a buffed out freak either). She has medium-length brown hair that she's begun growing out a little, green eyes with a couple freckles around her nose. Black knee-length tights, black elbow and knee pads, Red top with a gold star and "KT" in fancy red writing. Grace Kerr stands in black knee-length tights, black knee pads with a green 4-leaf clover on the middle of each, black boots with green outlines and laces, and a green t-shirt with a black 4-leaf clover outline going around and showing off her very nicely proportioned cleavage. Aqua's "Barbie Girl" begins right up!]
"Hi Barbie"
"Hi Ken!"
"Do you wanna go for a ride?"
"Sure Ken!"
"Jump In..."
[Cut to Kaycee Tanner working her opponent into the corner, then climbing the buckles behind her. Rising to her feet, Kaycee grabs her victim's head and flies over top to slam her head right off the canvas! Tanner gets to her feet and fires off the hand cannons as the audience cheers!!]
I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation
Come on Barbie, let's go part...
["The Irish Assassin" Grace Kerr sets up her opponent for a double underhook DDT, then as she falls backwards into the DDT, she locks her legs around the waist, and locks her hands together between her opponent's arms, and pushes up, with an arm/neck lock submission variation to clench in the "Saving Grace". Flyleaf's "I'm So Sick" kicks in over the "Barbie Girl!"]
*SCREEEEEECCH!*
"I will break into your thoughts"
"With what's written on my heart"
"I will BREEEEEEAAAAK!!"
[*Crash!* The screen shatters into a million pieces and reforms into the following words....]
"Hi Barbie"
"Hi Ken!"
"Do you wanna go for a ride?"
"Sure Ken!"
"Jump In..."
[Cut to Kaycee Tanner working her opponent into the corner, then climbing the buckles behind her. Rising to her feet, Kaycee grabs her victim's head and flies over top to slam her head right off the canvas! Tanner gets to her feet and fires off the hand cannons as the audience cheers!!]
I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation
Come on Barbie, let's go part...
["The Irish Assassin" Grace Kerr sets up her opponent for a double underhook DDT, then as she falls backwards into the DDT, she locks her legs around the waist, and locks her hands together between her opponent's arms, and pushes up, with an arm/neck lock submission variation to clench in the "Saving Grace". Flyleaf's "I'm So Sick" kicks in over the "Barbie Girl!"]
*SCREEEEEECCH!*
"I will break into your thoughts"
"With what's written on my heart"
"I will BREEEEEEAAAAK!!"
[*Crash!* The screen shatters into a million pieces and reforms into the following words....]
=K A Y C E E T A N N E R=
=G R A C E K E R R=
= T H E I R I S H R E B E L A R M Y=
Coming Soon to SPW.....
=G R A C E K E R R=
= T H E I R I S H R E B E L A R M Y=
Coming Soon to SPW.....
DEATHKNELL vs Whisper
Emily: This match is scheduled for one fall! Already in the ring... DEAAAAATHKNEEEEEEEELL!!!
["Learn to Craw" by Black Lab begins to fill the airwaves.]
Emily: Coming down the aisle from Parts Unknown! Weighing in at 220lbs! Here is WHISPER!
"You can laugh
you can feel fine
You can dance with a little twist
Tell your pretty red haired babe to forget that I exist
Can you see yourself in my bed at night?
Would you leave me at the side of the road?
Would you walk right up to me?
Would you talk to me?"
[With a sweep of his arm, Whisper swiped the curtains away from in front of him! The crowd cheering as the masked superstar stepped out to the top of the rampway, taking a knee and smacking his fists straight down into the platform next to him. Crossing his arms across his chest and throwing them out to his sides. Fireworks exploding around him and raining down with a shower of red and white sparks.]
"I'm already asking
Down on my knees
I'm already begging
Begging you please"
[Standing up, Whisper walks down the aisle, his hands extending out to the fans. Touching hands as he walks by to the ring, climbing up onto the apron, Whisper runs down the apron and runs up the buckles perching with one foot on the top and looking out over the crowd. Placing his fist over his chest, he raises his fist in the air showing his love to the crowd.]
"Can you teach me how to fly? (c'mon)
See I'm scared to die (c'mon)
We've only just begun to learn to crawl
Can you teach me how to fight? (c'mon)
Will you keep me up all night? (c'mon)
Will you be there on the ground if I should fall?
Fall for you"
[Whisper grips the top turnbuckle, one hand standing on it for a moment as he enters into the ring. Bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet, he turns around and offers a slight bow of his head to the official and again to the opposition.]
Vik: Whisper is undefeated since coming to the SPW but this is his biggest test to date in the massive and ultra violent DEAHTKNELL!
Jack: Yeah Vik, DEATHKNELL is a force to be reckoned with, Whisper's mask could only be hiding how nervous he must be before this battle. Both men circling each other in the middle of the ring, they go to tie up, Whisper ducks underneath and roundhouse kick to the side of DEATHKNELL's knee! DEATHKNELL stumbles from the shot and another! Another! Rapidly unloading with those kicks! DOUBLE CROSS CHOP TO THE THROAT! STANDING JUMPING KNEE TO THE FACE!
Vik: You may be wrong, Whisper showing no fear and is going straight at DEATHKNELL! The big man seems to be caught off guard by the aggressive onslaught! DEATHKNELLL clutching his throat, Whisper off the ropes, 540 KICK TO THE FACE AND THE BIG MAN IS DOWN! Whisper pulling DEATHKNELL'S HEAD AROUND, KICK AFTER KICK AFTER KICK! Fear? I think that's out the window!
Jack: Whisper comes off the ropes, BASEMENT DROPKICK TO THE SIDE OF DEATHKNELL'S HEAD! Whisper sliding out of the ring to the floor and pulling DEATHKNELL out to the edge of the apron with him! Whisper slides back into the ring, SLINGSHOTS OVER THE TOP ROPE AND COMES DOWN WITH A DOUBLE KNEE TO THE FACE OF DEATHKNELL!
Jack: He tried to take his head off his shoulders! The crowd explodes here in Nashville for the new comer! DEATHKNELL looks to be in a bad way! Whisper back up to the apron, climbs to the top, FROG SPLASH! The referee out of position! Pin!
1!!!!!
2!!!!!
[POWER KICKOUT!]
Jack: DEATHKNELL just shoved Whisper off and into the stratosphere with that kickout! Whisper waiting on him, Whisper into the ropes...DEATHKNELL CATCHES HIM ON THE REBOUND WITH A SIDEWALK SLAM! The canvas just shook with the impact!
Vik: DEATHKNELL grabs the arm of Whisper, he jerks him off the canvas into a short arm Axe Bomber! Whisper got turned inside out! DEATHKNELL yokes him up again off the mat and takes him back down with an Axe Bomber! It looks like this one is coming to an end quickly after Whisper's opening flurry!
Jack: Whisper pulled into a standing head scissors! DEATHKNELL hurls him up into the air, RUNNING TOWARDS THE BUCKLES, DEATHKNELL LAUNCHES HIM INTO THE CORNER! Whisper's been broken against the turnbuckles, it's the only thing keeping him up! HEADLESS DEMON CHOP!
Vik: Whisper had no where to go and literally almost had his head knocked into the 2nd row! The enigma is crumbled in the corner clutching his throat, DEATHNELL pulls him onto his shoulders, carrying him like he was nothing. DEATHKNELL SPRINGBOARDS OFF THE MIDDLE TURNBUCKLE AND CRUSHES WHISPER WITH THE H-BOMB! Hooking the leg laying back across his!
1!!!!!!
2!!!!
3!!!!
Jack: WHISPER'S SHOULDER CAME UP OFF THE MAT!
Vik: That did nothing but enrage DEATHKNELL! Whisper pulled back up to his feet, Belly to Back...DEATHKNELL JUST LAUNCHED WHISPER BACKWARDS OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR! The man in white is looking like a grease spot on the floor!
Jack: The referee may really want to consider stopping this match! Whisper could be seriously injured and DEATHKNELL would like nothing more then that! DEATHKNELL backing off and watching for any signs of life! Whisper using the ring apron to drag himself back up, I have no idea why he's even trying to fight at this point, who knows how much damage DEATHKNELL has done to him so far!
Vik: He sees white! DEATHKNELL INTO INTO THE ROPES! TOPE SUICIDA THROUGH THE ROPES INTO WHISPER! THE MOMENT DROVE WHISPER STRAIGHT BACKWARDS INTO THE BARRCIADE! HE MIGHT HAVE BROKEN HIM IN TWO!
Jack: DEATHKNELL survived the early attack from Whisper and now is making him pay! He's pulling up the ring apron, he's got a table! Setting it up on the floor, he's got some cruel intentions in store no doubt. Whisper goozeled and hoisted off the floor! DEATHKNELL holding him in the air with one arm with an awesome show of po-TRIANGLE CHOKE!?!
[OUT OF NOWHERE FACE POP!]
Vik: Whisper just clutched the wrist of DEATHKNELL and wrapped his legs around the head of the powerhouse! He's got the Triangle choke locked in tight and DEATHKNELL never saw it coming!
Jack: The big man's air supply is cut off and Whisper throws his weight back towards the ring! The ropes propping him up, DEATHKNELL's knees are starting to buckle! Whisper breaks the hold and BUZZSAW KICK TO THE SIDE OF THE HEAD! WHISPER TURNS BACK TO THE RING, SPRINGBOARD OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE, TWISTS IN MID AIR! HURRICANRANA TO THE FLOOR! DEATHKNELL GOES HEAD FIRST INTO THE BARRCIADE!
Vik: HE'S NOT DOWN THOUGH! DEATHKNELL IS STILL STANDING! Whisper shoves the powerhouse back into the ring! He climbs up to the apron, DEATHKNELL DOESN'T KNOW WHERE HE IS! WHISPER JUMPS TO THE TOP ROPE WITH HIS BACK TO THE RING, SPRINGBOARDS OFF AND TURNS AROUND! CATCHES DEATHKNELL BY THE HEAD, 720 DDT!
[HUGE FACE POP!!!!]
Jack: Whisper rolls out of the ring to the apron, DEATHKNELL is still down. WHISPER JUMPS TO THE TOP! SPRINGBOARD 450 SPLASH! HOOKS BOTH THE LEGS OF DEATHKNELL AND RIDING HIGH ON HIS SHOULDERS!]
1!!!!
2!!!
3!!!
*DINGDINGDING!*
Jack: He did it!
Vik: The underdog probably just made a lot of people happy in Vegas!
Emily: Your winner... WHISPER!!!!!
[Whisper rolls out of the ring to the floor, clutching his back as he falls back into the barricade, the fans patting him and congratulating him. DEATHKNELL sitting up slowly and clutching his head, Whisper heading backwards up the aisle, reaching his arms out and touching the hands of the fans.]
Jack: David came out on top of Goliath in that exchange! Whisper continues his winning ways here in SPW and may have silenced many of the critics with his win tonight over the insanely dangerous DEATHKNELL!
Vik: Yowza! "Sensuous" Samantha Bevins is also joining us here tonight on Ascension! The general manager of Conquest is here tonight to let her prescence be known.
Jack: Well something happened very interesting earlier to her office. Let's take a look.
#TWO HOURS BEFORE ASCENSION#
Male Voice: I highly doubt she'll be in her office this early Amanda, you know Samantha...
Female Voice: That's why we're here...
Male Voice: What do you have in mind?
[The video comes into play, Marcus Davis is leaning on brown oak door wearing a dark red, silk collar shirt along with jeans. El Rey Futuro stands beside him, his famous mask untied. He wears a white collar shirt with jeans. To the side of the two is Amanda Mancini the CEO of The Agency Inc. She wears a short white dress with black boots to her knees. The dress shows off each of her curves and her black hair flows down her back. Across her shoulder sits a black travel bag, a smirk on her face. The camera pans back to capture a gold name plate that reads, "Samantha Bevins" on the door.]
Amanda: Just trust me...
[Amanda enters the room leaving Marcus and Futuro standing there with looks of defeat on their faces..well at least on Marcus' we can only assume Futuro looks the same.]
Marcus: Let's get this over with...
[Futuro nods and the two enter the room, closing the door behind them. We fade from the previous scene what is going on in current time to show "Sensuous" Samantha Bevins strutting her stuff down the narrow backstage hallways of The Sommet Center. Samantha is dressed in a navy blue business skirtsuit, lowcut of course, with a white lace camisole showing. She looks tan from her recent excursion with AJ Black. Samantha's long blond hair is done up in a fancy bun. She mumbles something to herself as the camera picks up on it.]
SSB: Marcus Davis better answer his cell phone or he is going to regret it!
[Samantha opens her office door and enters. She is taken aback from what she sees. The office has been completely rearranged from previous way Samantha had remembered. Samantha looks around the office in confusion. She sees posters of Marcus Davis and El Rey Futuro all over the office instead of her precious photographs of herself. The letters "COH" are spray painted on a far right wall. Sam then looks to the side to see Marcus Davis and Amanda Mancini sitting on her expensive couch drinking wine. El Rey Futuro lounges in a state of the art recliner drinking wine as well. Samantha looks around the office and throws her hands up.]
SSB: What the hell? [she begins to turn red, obviously not that pleased] Someone answer me now! What in the HELL is going on here?!
[Amanda turns her head towards Samantha, a wide grin on her face.]
Amanda: We saw you still had the Royal Tokaji Wine from '99 I got you for Christmas. We decided to open both bottles.
[Marcus and Futuro raise their glasses in Samantha's direction before laughing.]
SSB: Marcus, was this your idea? If so, I do not find it very funny. I think you and I both know that a relationship involves privacy. This office is both off limits and VERY private. Or was it HER idea?
[Samantha scowls at Amanda.]
SSB: I'm sure it was your idea, wasn't it? I could get you for trespassing you know and destruction of private property. This isn't funny. This isn't funny one bit. By the way, I'm not a big red wine drinker, but I didn't have the heart to tell you that. Now, HOWEVER, I do believe I have a few choice words for you, Amanda.
[Marcus sets his half empty glass on a table beside the couch. He slowly stands, a smile painted across his face as he walks towards the enraged Bevins. As he approaches her he puts both of his hands on her shoulders.]
Marcus: You mean like the sort of privacy that comes with letting you drive my 2010 Aston Martin Volante for the past three months? A car I paid $285,000 for, just for you to have it shipped out of the country; using one of my accounts, of course...
[Marcus sighs.]
Marcus: Only to try and sneak it back in the country...Oh did I forget the best part?
[Marcus shakes his head.]
Marcus: All to go see AJ Black...
[Marcus take shis hands off her shoulders and turns around, taking the office in.]
Marcus: I hope you like what I've done with your office...
[Samantha looks around at the complete disarray her office is in. She crosses her arms over her chest and stares at Marcus.]
SSB: I don't, Marcus. I don't like it one bit. You should be ashamed of yourself for letting this little rat talk you into this. I thought you were a man of honor? A man of integrity? Not one that could be caught under the paw of a complete little wench like Amanda Mancini? You, Marcus Davis, have been a very bad boy. Lucky for you, I like bad boys. Lucky for you, Marcus... I enjoy looking at posters of you. Now while I could do without El Rey's mask strung all along this office, I think your image will do just fine.
[Marcus laughs. His back stays turned to Samantha.]
Marcus: What would you know about honor and integrity? You left SOW, so you could have more power in SPW. As soon as you get that power, look what you have done. There's nothing honorable about you Samantha. Samantha Bevins, is only interested in Samantha Bevins.
Amanda: You seem to have forgotten what the Code Of Honor is about Samantha..
SSB: Shut up, Amanda. No one cares about you or what you have to say. This is between myself and Marcus. We're not having a threesome here, as much as you probably wish we were. So, step off.
[Samantha approaches Marcus, his back still turned to her.]
SSB: That's a shame you think that, Marcus. An absolute shame. Because the power I have right now is power that could help you in many different ways. I'm hurt because you won't take advantage of it, but such is life. Pulling childish stunts like this won't work to get my attention, though. I hope you realize that now.
Marcus: It's not for your attention, it's to prove a point. The Code Of Honor was created to put an end to everything wrong with SPW, and unfortunately Sam...You are one of the problems with SPW.
SSB: I am the SPW, Marcus. This is my league now. Now are we going to stand here and go around all day or are you going to get to what your point is for actually coming here and destroying my office other than for attention? If the Code of Honor was implemented to put an end to everything wrong in SPW, then do something other than destroying property. How's that sound?
[Marcus slowly turns around. A look of anger in his eyes.]
Marcus: I have my eyes focused on the SPW World Championship, but along the way I will make sure I will put an end to your madness...
[He quickly mellows.]
Marcus: Oh. I would like the keys to my car...
[Marcus holds out his hand with a smirk on his face.]
SSB: They're with valet. Did you actually think I parked it by myself? That would be absolutely ludicrous of me to do with the "little people" working for me. Now unless you can play nice, get out. Take your whore and your little masked friend with you.
Marcus: We were just about to leave...
[Futuro and Amanda stand, Futuro motions towards Davis.]
Marcus: I thought you brought your cards...
[Futuro shrugs.]
Marcus: Fine. [turns towards Samantha] Futuro challenges anyone of your choosing to a match on the next Ascension. Since I know your games, I'm not included on that list. Just make it worth his time...
[The group walks past Samantha, Amanda grins at Samantha as she passes. They disappear out of the door...yet Marcus has one last thing to say.]
Marcus: ...We're done...I know what you were doing with AJ.
[Samantha looks at Marcus, a look of shock coming upon her features. She stares at him blankly.]
SSB: AJ is my friend, Marcus. There is nothing wrong with having a friend.
[Marcus walks away without saying another word. Samantha, still in shock and quite embarrassed, becomes irate and slams the office door in a huge bam. The camera fades to ringside.]
Vik: WHAT! SSB is back on the market? How could that complete imbecile break up with "Sensuous" Samantha?!
Jack: Because Marcus is right. Samantha Bevins is nothing but trouble here in SPW. She is a moron!!
Vik: A moron who could easily have your job!!!
Jack: Like I care!!! Let's go to a break. We'll be back.
"The Fighting Chance"
Starring Chance Fortuna
[Ascension came back from the commercial break the only way it truly and honestly could justify. With an unannounced episode of "The Fighting Chance", Chance Fortuna sat back in his custom interviewer's chair. Wearing a white dress shirt with the top few buttons left down, and Dolce and Gabbana black slacks. A pair of D&C sun glasses covering his eyes while the microphone dangled between his fingers in front of his lips...oh yeah! One of the World Tag Team straps was draped over his right shoulder, I shouldn't forget that. Sitting in the middle of the guest's couch Rich Patterson.]
[CROWD BOOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
[Patterson looks out of his element sat on a couch, far too “soft” for his liking, but needs as needs must. Heck, he’s even wearing his best pair of jeans for the occasion – the ones with one knee that isn’t worn through, and aren’t frayed around the hems yet.]
Chance: As possession is 9/10ths of the law, it looks like the new Tag Team Champions of the World are here in Nashville, TN! And I'd like nothing more then to leave this hellhole as soon as possible....
[HUGE HEEL POP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
[Rolling his eyes Chance slowly lowers the microphone from his lips and looks out over the crowd. Shaking his head back and forth before passing an annoyed look to Patterson.]
Chance: SPW knows how important I am to making their shows watchable... so I was all but ordered to be here tonight in Nashville and for the record, it's under extreme protest! I told everyone, we'd leave Charlotte with the tag team titles, and we did just that! Tell 'em big man!
Rich: One day, each and every one of you ignorant-yet-opinionated crimes of nature will realize something – it doesn’t matter how much you want, you hope, you will me to lose to yet another one of your heroes. Each and every time, I prove that you know nothing, putting them down like the sick dogs that they are, and you continue to doubt me. Well take a good look what happened to Eddie Christian and Marissa Monet –you wanted them to succeed, you wanted me to fail, and right now I’m the one holding the titles they held so dear, and none of you could see it happening.
[HUGE HEEL POP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Chance: Hey! You rednecks show us respect! [standing up, glaring out over the crowd.] I'll walk! I don't need this! We don't need this! We're the Tag Team Champions of the World! Eddie Christian and Manbeast Monet got the shit kicked out of them, they don't want any of this! No one in the back wants any of "Bad Luck"!
V: Chance, Chance, Chance... shut the hell up!
[The crowd breaks into a face pop upon hearing a familiar voice. Shane Diamond, member of Team EGO and former multi-time tag team champion, walks from the back holding a microphone. Diamond is wearing a snazzy TEAAAAAM EGOOOO! t-shirt and blue jeans. His short brown hair is spiked up in the front and he's wearing that smug smile of his. The Nashville fans hit their feet as Diamond continues to walk down the aisle. He climbs into the ring and walks directly to Chance.]
Shane: Oh and nice belt. Where did you get it from? [turns to Rich] Same to you brother! Where'd ya get that nice piece of gold from? Steal anything recently? Haha! You stupid little punks think you're cool, don't you? You think you're... you think you're Team EGO... but you're not.
[He smiles.]
Shane: You never will be. Now while Owen can't be here tonight, Shane Diamond can. He can be here to tell you that your good run of luck... well, it ends here tonight. I stood in the back for a few listening to you two rejects disgrace all the Team EGO fans here in Nashville and it occurred to me... those belts you have... they're still Team EGO's.
[CROWD POP!]
Shane: Want to know why? Because that freak of nature Monet and Eddie Christian have yet to even face us in our rematch. Our rematch we'll be asking for very, very soon. So, Chance, Rich, just hand the belts over right now and we'll have no problems at all. Then you guys can go back to the midcard and it'll all be good. Sound like a plan?
[Chance grins, looking up at Shane, not even giving him the respect to stand up.]
Chance: Please, we don't think we're Team EGO. We wouldn't want to be Team EGO...and do you know why, Shane? We're actually relevant! This isn't 2009, it's 2010...you start this year off in the right fashion... as losers! Now is it more, Owen couldn't be here today? Or is it...he's too embarrassed to be seen with a no talent...second rate...poor man's version of Chance Fortuna! In Hollywood, if you want a big budget action star. You get...[shrugs.] Bruce Willis. If you don't have the budget, then you get...Mickey Rourke. And if you don't have the budget for him, but you do have an 8 ball of coke...then you get Tom Sizemore. You....are SPW's answer...to Tom Sizemore.
[The crowd begins to boo as Diamond simply smiles toward Chance.]
Shane: Chance, I'm not too sure who the hell that even is, but let's face it... you're no Tom Cruise. I'd even bet that suit you're wearing is as fake as that title belt you're carrying on your shoulder. As far as your little playmate Rich Patterson, why don't you two just get it on already? We know you're neither one doing Tiffany Lane, that's for sure. Why would such a hot broad ever have anything to do with you, Chance? You're a loser. You'll always be a loser. How's that sound for the truth, Nashville?
[The crowd goes wild for Diamond, waving their merchandise and posters around!]
Diamond: Sounds like they agree, Chance. Sounds like a bunch of smart people.
[Chance sneers, standing up this time and standing toe to toe with Diamond. Butting heads with him, his teeth gnashing together.]
Chance: I'd suggest you watch what you say about Tiffany.... because it could end really, really bad for you. And why the hell would you even listen to anything these people say or what they think? This is [hick accent] Tennessee! Hell, I can get these people to turn on you in a heartbeat!
[Pushing away from Diamond, Chance glares at him.]
Chance: You're all cheering for him now... but later tonight, we'll see if they still think you're so great. Tonight, you and me! One on one! If you're up to the challenge that is!?
Shane: You're on, pretty boy.
[Chance drops the mic down and ducks out of the ring, keeping his eyes on Diamond. Patterson standing close to Chance putting himself between Shane and his partner, glaring at the former Tag Team Champion before ducking out of the ring as well. Bad Luck, walking back up the aisle, Chance running his mouth the entire time back towards Diamond. Diamond shakes his head and drops his microphone. He points to his TEAAAM EGOOOOO! t-shirt and begins to cackle loudly as the crowd goes insane!]
Jack: Looks like we have a match set up later tonight between Diamond and Chance!
Vik: Chance is going to wipe the floor with that sap, Diamond. Owen Cage or Miss Jasmine is not on hand tonight. The NEW tag team champions will make sure this is the end of Diamond.
Jack: They stole the belts, Vik. They're not the new champions.
Vik: Says who?!
Jack: Good God. You'll never learn!!!
[Ambivalent crowd noise builds to a murmur as cameras fade in on "Sensuous" Samantha Bevins leaning against her desk. She's got her glasses perched low on her nose, her hair done up in a bun that speaks 'professional, but schoolteacher sexy' attitude. She raises her right arm palm-skyward, beckoning, indicating she's inclined to condone the presence of a supplicant for the time being.
The crowd starts making some face heat noise as ONO HEZONFAIA approaches. He's clad in his trademark shiny blue pants, topped with a Shootfire Pro T-shirt (conveniently available for purchase through our online affiliates now!). He stops hurriedly a few feet short of the boss lady, performs a perfunctory bow of subordinance, and begins to mangle the English language.]
ONO: Miss Samantha Bevins, ONO, I am here. I am here, ONO. But Kisaragi come from LONG distance in suitcase for Tagu Teamu Glo Ree, and ONO has no partner!
SSB: I am well aware of the situation. Tsk, such a shame to see such a promising talent go to waste so early in your contract... And you DO have contractual obligations with Shootfire Pro, as I'm sure you are quite aware. So, we've made arrangements to help you out in your endeavor.
ONO: Endeavor? Space shuttle? Whoosh?
[A facial tic appears momentarily on Sam Bevins' cheek. She regains her composure quickly, smoothing her skirt.]
SSB: I was afraid of something like this. I've taken the liberty of adding Mister Bengoshi to the payroll to, shall we say, expedite communication.
[A stonefaced Japanese lawyer in a brown suit appears at Miss Bevins' right hand. He speaks to ONO in a rush of clipped professional Japanese, following with paced English, nearly all hint of accent eliminated through careful practice.]
MB: ONO, you will be provided a new partner. Kisaragi will continue to compete in the Shootfire arena. You are bound by Contractual Obligation to perform. This is not negotiable. I trust this is acceptable to you.
[ONO nods slowly. The wrestler and lawyer exchange shallow bows, and Mister Bengoshi fades into the background from whence he came. Sensuous Sam arches an eyebrow and takes the floor once again.]
SSB: I'm so glad you understand.
ONO: But my partner, he is... ouchied. Flying Rehnquist no longer Flying.
SSB: Worry not, my Japanese jumping bean. We've contracted a more experienced wrestler to help show you how things are done here in Shootfire. ONO, allow me to introduce a veteran technician of the craft, Joe "Legs" Baruffi!
[Cheers from the old-school CIWA-DCWL followers and Stacia B's fanboys! Black man in a blue blazer jacket comes forward. His head is shaved, he has a full, neatly trimmed beard and moustache with just a hint of grey in it. Joe walks right past Sam Bevins, smiles and takes ONO confidently by the hand right away with a little head-bow of his own. Joe's a good mentor, these two should get on fine.]
JB: Joe Baruffi, nice to meetcha.
ONO: ONO HEZONFAIA.
JB: What the hell? Who's on fire? WHERE?
[ONO HEZONFAIA points to his shiny blue pants, which read ONO HEZONFAIA in mixed Kanji/Katakana script down one leg, Latin letters down the other. It's clear that this is his name.]
JB: Awwww, SNAP they did it to me again, got me taking care of some goofy-ass kid who don't know his rump from an armbar. Well, ONO, I've been around the block a few times more than you, so you can relax a little. Hell, I saved my money, BOUGHT the block, opened up a little corner gym. You 'n me teaming, I'll show you how Technical wrestling is taught in Chicago! High-five me, boy.
[Joe puts his hand up, ONO promptly grasps the proffered hand, jumps and shouts in glee. The audience gets to sing along with the catchphrase.]
ONO: Mister Joe and ONO! Kisaragi... Repaired! TAGU TEAMU GLO REE!!!
JB: That's right, son, tag team glory. Now get my bags, we got stuff to do. Onward, ONO!
[The man in the blue jacket points a finger, leans back, and starts walkin'. An excited luggage rack dressed in shiny blue and an SPW T-shirt follows along. (Have I mentioned that you can get the new SPW T-Shirt through our online affiliates?) Fade back to Vik and Jack at ringside.]
Vik: Looks like ONO is teaming up with Joe Baruffi tonight.
Jack: That is going to be very interesting! We'll be back here on Ascension.
Kisaragi vs The Nerds
[Cameras open on the broadcast booth, Jack Sharp and Vik Avatar with their headsets and monitors at the ready, both speaking freely with plenty of hand motion to accompany and emphasize.]
Jack: And we're back here in Nashville! Jack Sharp here with Vik Avatar. It's great to be here to commentate this upcoming tag contest! Welcome again, ladies and gentlemen, to the debut broadcast of SPW Ascension.
Vik: Let's see some tag team action here! I wanna watch some bodies flying.
Jack: Emily Faith the ring announcer now, here to grace us with that voice of hers. The woman knows how to get the crowd on its feet!
[Cut to a long shot of the ring, Emily stands with a microphone at the ready. The Nerds are already in the ring, busy removing their button-down short-sleeved white shirts, hiking up their high-waisted khakis.]
Emily: All Shootfire Pro Wrestling fans in the audience and followers watching at home, the following is a one-fall tag team contest. Referee Charles Eden will call the match. In the ring with me, hailing from Your Father's Closet, The One Where He Hides His Pocket Protectors, here are Sweet Dickie and Wet Willy: THE NEEEEERRRRRRDS!
[The crowd gives a little low-buzz jobber heat for the Nerds. Sweet Dickie's the chubby one, Wet Willy tall and gangly. They've got their tops off now, sporting Chippendale-esque collars and cuffs as well as the khakis over generic wrestling boots.]
[A discordant guitar riff echoes, and three snare hits ring out through the arena. Another riff, another trio of snare hits, and the whispered vocals come in.
"We've always been this to free all the pain."
Another riff, another trio of snares, another whisper.
"We've always been this to free all the pain."
Cue the contractually obligated pyro shot, and the band and singer break out into MADDENED SCREAMS to introduce the very proud ONO HEZONFAIA to this arena! He stops to headbang momentarily to this BADASS J-METAL theme, brushes his long hair out of his eyes, then raises an arm in a victory salute.
"Benribenri banzai benribenri banzai, benribenri banzai ningen!"
As the badass J-metal vocals strike and repeat, ONO HEZONFAIA starts down the ramp, pointing left and right as he starts getting pumped up for this match.
"Hora biribiri ikarasuka? biribiri ikarasuka? Biribiri ikarasuka? Ningen."
As ONO starts down the ramp toward ringside, Joe Baruffi in a black and blue singlet follows. He's still got his shades on, smiling at the camera, tells the cameraman "I'm gonna teach this boy how it's done."]
Faith: At a combined weight of four hundred and seventy-three pounds, from Chicago Illinois and Hokkaido Japan - Joe "Legs" Baruffi, ONO HEZONFAIA:
KISAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRAGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
[The theme music vocals turn to a metal scream, and the guitar bass and drum thrash accordingly. Cue the contractually decreed spotlights.
"WHAT'S UP fuanzai ippai
Hanzai kienai towani
WHAT'S UP fuanzai ippai
(Uramini wana dare down?)"
ONO HEZONFAIA drinks in this awesome entrance, complete with badass J-metal theme song. He drops to one knee at the end of the ramp, flips his hair back for one more hit of the contractually obligated pyro, and shouts in glory.
"Hey hey ningen SUCKER - ah ningen ningen FUCKER
Hey hey ningen SUCKER - ah ningen ningen FUCKER"
[Stacia B follows up behind to get the people excited to see her pops do his thing in the ring!!]
"WHAT'S UP PEOPLE!"
[The two men hit the ring, ONO HEZONFAIA rolling in and jumping in his glorious moment, Baruffi just shaking his head on the outside of the ropes. Stacia's on the outside, cheering.]
"WHAT'S UP PEOPLE!"
"WHAT'S UP PEOPLE!"
[The song dies into a chaos of metal riffs and sheer awesome, ONO bangs his head to the awesome theme song one more time, and now we can get on to business.]
*DINGDINGDING!*
Vik: Looks like we've finally got a match on our hands, but you certainly can't say ONO isn't excited to be out here, whaddayasaygetmeabeer?
Jack: The overseas newcomer's enthusiasm does seem to have been rekindled thanks to the tactical decision of Shootfire's second-in-command to pair him with the experienced hands - and legs - of Poppa Joe Baruffi, well-known backstage as a trainer and mentor since his days of active competition.
Vik: I SAID, we've got a MATCH on our hands, stop yer jabbering and call the action! Sweet Dickie wants to make a name for himself with some haymakers, and it looks like ONO caught a couple on the chin!
Jack: I guess I owe you a beer after all, when it comes to you to remind me I have a job to do out here. Dammit. Hey, someone go to concessions and bring this man a Black Hole Brew.
Vik: Thenkyaverrymuch, Jack, but now ONO's finally learned how to block a punch, and he's responding with palm strikes to the solar plexus!
Jack: Sweet Dickie has lost all his wind, and those palm strikes are backing him to the ropes! ONO hops over to the apron -
Vik: BAM! One-touch straight from the apron back over the ropes with that rolling back brain kick! Sweet Dickie goes DOWN!
Jack: I swear, it happens to every guy sooner or later. HEZONFAIA to the ropes - ASAI MOONSAULT!
Vik: Aww, look at the kid, clapping for himself! Joe Baruffi with that ambiguous thumbs-up from the outside, but Stacia seems to be going in full cheerleader mode from her own perspective.
Jack: The Japanese Jumping Bean sets up Sweet Dickie in the ring, looking for one more! Listen to the crowd, Vik, they've certainly taken a quick shine to this new face. ONO HEZONFAIA motions upward, takes a step back. What's he looking for now? A STANDING SHOOTING STAR PRESS?!
[Big UNNNNNGGGH!!!!!!! of sympathetic pain from the crowd, as well as the obligatory teenagers chanting their Schadenfreude aloud. Over in the Kisaragi corner, Joe Baruffi facepalms. Stacia's got arms crossed, hip cocked, I-cannot-believe-that-just-happened smirk on her face.]
Vik: Hey, ONO. You're not supposed to piledrive yourself this early in the match.
Jack: Obviously, that move seems to have been a bit too ambitious for ONO HEZONFAIA tonight. He's down and dazed, Referee Shane Dreamer checking on him. This gives the Nerds the opportunity to recover and make a switch.
Vik: Wet Willy getting some ring time, but old man Baruffi has some reach, manages to slink through a tag to his partner. Hah, read those lips, Jack, Joe's telling ONO to lie back and get some rest, he'll take care of things.
Jack: Stacia's getting this crowd riled up, she wants to see them cheer her pops! The veteran Legs Baruffi quite amicable in the ring, offering a friendly hand to Wet Willy, who's more than happy to accept the handshake.
Vik: The crowd always likes to see a good sport, Jack, and Joe Baruffi likes to take the young guys under his wing, make 'em look good. Hah, look at that, ol' Legs is getting cocky, just offering the kid his chin! Go on, Willy, take your shot!
Jack: Wet Willy's clearly not a puncher. Joe just laughs it off...
Vik: Hope you brought a hoagie bun for that big black sausage arm clothesline by Joe Baruffi! Hah, look at old man Joe wants to put on a clinic for us! Give that man a microphone!
Joe (from the ring): Now, ONO, just look at this arm. How many ways can we make this arm move in interesting ways? Let's start out with the Short-arm scissor leglock.
ONO: Shouto! Ammo! CEE-ZARRRRRR!
Joe: Aww, look at poor Wet Willie crying in pain. Let's see what's next, lemme roll him into a sitting position, weave in here, grab my own arm, see, this is a Keylock, son!
ONO: KEEEEEEYYY LOCKU!
Joe: Wrench it 'round the back, you have the Hammerlock. Don't they teach this stuff anymore in those fancy wrestling schools? Man, I sure hope I get some new students out of this exposure, the skills presented out there are LACKING. Don't you think so, Wet Willie?
WW: AaaaaAAAGGH YES SIR! YES SIR!
Joe: That's right, I thought so. Now, you shift here, and it becomes a Chickenwing...
ONO: CHICKEN WINGU!
Joe: And if I double up on the hammerlock and the chickenwing right here, fold my arms like so, that's a kinda special hold we call the David Crusher.
ONO: DAY VID CRUSHAAAAAA!
WW: OH MY GOD WHO IS DAVID AND WHY DOES HE HATE ME SO MUCH RIGHT NOW?
Vik: For the fans listening at home, that David would be the older brother, who used to wrestle in high school and put him into all sorts of interesting and creative submission holds.
Jack: Break the fourth wall much lately, Vik?
Vik: Only when I'm too sober to escape my own destiny. Looks like Joe's finished being a pedantic bastard for a while, he's picking Wet Willie up for an Irish whip.
Jack: Classic finishing sequence coming up out of the man from Chicago. Joe Baruffi catches Wet Willie up into a fireman's carry, underhooks the head, BACKDROP BUSTER!
[Stacia's got the crowd cheering for her daddy! Ba ROOFI! Ba ROOFI! Ba ROOFI!]
Jack: And any longtime CIWA fans will recognize this setup, Joe Baruffi's got him dazed and creeping up behind him, YES! HANGING FULL NELSON!
Vik: Awww, how sweet! He popped it into a Dragon Suplex so he can tag the new kid in to get the big finish! Just hear that crowd, they are spectacular!
[The crowd cheers phase gradually into momentous heel heat as Marilyn Manson's "Irresponsible Hate Anthem" floods the arena.]
Vik: Oh no. Oh, no no no. Didn't you guys finish working out your grudge last week?
Jack: That music hits, and the fans know what's coming all over again. It's the Children of Hardcore, stomping their way down to the ring, a wooden table carried between the two of them! Don't tell me...
Vik: Yeah, Stacia's a scrapper, she was ready to go get right in their faces!
Jack: Oh, no no no, this does not bode well for the veteran Joe Baruffi. The Father of this twisted Family, Chad Allen, is standing at the entryway to the arena, playing the ringmaster as Anarchy and Entropy cordon off Joe Baruffi with no escape route!
Vik: I'm sorry, but don't look at ONO for the save here, he's got his own problems because the Nerds have made another tag and Sweet Dickie is trying to remind him that he's still got a match to contend with.
Jack: Stacia B is not going new the Children of Hardcore! The Hardcore Brothers have Poppa Joe caught on the apron, and they've set that table up at ringside...
Vik: Take a closer look, brother. That table's directly over the ring stairs. ONO HEZONFAIA is busy trying to leverage one zaftig sonofabitch across his hip, he can't help.
Jack: There's the cue from the Jester, Anarchy and Entropy just HOIST Joe Baruffi right off the apron onto their shoulders! Oh, no, don't do this.
Vik: The Father gives the sign...
[The CRACK-SPANG of the veteran going neck-first through the table and onto the steel ring steps is nearly drowned out by the sympathetic grunts of the crowd and a banshee wail from his daughter.]
Jack: This is NOT good. The Children of Hardcore are just dusting themselves off and stomping back up the ramp, happy as clams. It looks like he's had enough of grappling with his opponent. A pair of well-placed elbows give him just the amount of separation he needs for the setup. Up he goes with the moonsault Uranage, taking Sweet Dickie along for the ride as ONO HEZONFAIA Shoots the Moon! Cover and a solid ONE TWO THREE means Kisaragi continues to rise another rung in the tag team ladder.
Vik: Come on, guys, can we please get some EMTs down here at ringside? Somebody call Maurice!
Jack: Stacia's next to her father, holding his hand and trying to get him talking. ONO leaning out over the ring ropes, looking on in concern at what may have been a very promising tag team partner.
Vik: The Family are a twisted tribe, you do not want to be on the wrong end of one of their standing grudges. They're still in the entryway, striking a tableau as the emergency workers swarm around them as they rush to ringside. Allen's got a microphone on hand, and I'm pretty sure it's live.
JCA: There you go, ONO. You just had to do wrong by my Family, and again I'll give you a little education in the art of righting a wrong. I could have my charges here go and teach you a lesson directly... But busting your kneecaps would only be a temporary setback for you, and I know all sorts of bad influences here in SPW who would gladly give up their own well-being just to take me down a notch.
ONO: I do not understand! All I did was win, everybody always say try hard to win!
JCA: Yes, and I can't have that when it's my FAMILY'S reputation at stake! Now like I was trying to tell you, I could have taken you out, and that would have stopped exactly one person. You.
But ONO, I want to send a message. You're just the sorry son of a bitch who happened to cross us on the wrong night. See, we're going to take your DREAMS away. You've been so big on that one thing ever since you shown your face...
ONO: Tagu... Teamu... Glo Ree?
JCA: Well, you can't HAVE Tag Team Glory, now, if you can't have a tag team. Mark my words, ONO. We're taking your dreams away from you and sending you back to Japan a broken wreck of a man.
Jack: And with that, the Family make their exit back through the curtain. The Emergency Medical Technicians have gotten Joe Baruffi strapped to a back brace board and onto a stretcher. Stacia Baruffi is right at her father's side, still clutching his hand. ONO is caught up with the medical crew as they get the injured party up the ramp. This is insane!!! We'll be right back with Shane Diamond going against Chance Fortuna in a challenge that was set down earlier tonight!!
Shane Diamond vs Chance Fortuna
[Cut back to Ascension. Shane Diamond stands in the ring ready to take on Chance Fortuna. Referee Lara Vandewalle stands off to the side, ready for the match to begin as the Nashville Ascension fans are cheering.]
Jack: Shane Diamond wasting no time, ladies and gentlemen!! He's already in the ring and ready to go. Shane Diamond wants to put Chance Fortuna out of business. It's Team EGO verses Bad Luck, one member of each! Owen Cage or Miss Jasmine are neither one on hand tonight. Something tells me Rich Patterson is going to get involved in this one.
Vik: Rich is a great tag team champion.
Jack: They're not champions!! Now...
[The lights go off around the arena, spotlights start swirling back and forth as workers rush from the back pulling large makeshift changing rooms from the back and setting them on opposite sides of the stage. Dozens upon dozens of photographers rush out and line the ramp way snapping photograph after photograph. The lights cross several more times before stopping at the top of the ramp way where Chance Fortuna stepped out wearing an Armani Suit, scarf accenting the wardrobe. Fortuna looking confused, and motioning towards the ring at Shane Diamond.]
Chance: What are you doing up there, stupid? I didn't challenge you to a wrestling match! We're having "Walk Off"!
[GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE HEEL POP!]
Chance: It's simple! So come up here...[motioning to the changing room to his right.] You need to get ready! I'll start...I make my model walk down the ramp way...pose for photogs....turn around...come back to your changing room, change into the next set of clothes. You have until the other model returns to their changing area to get ready...if you're not ready...well...[shrugs.] You just weren't cut out for this. And if you trip and fall? You loose...do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars. As I'm a professional....I'll go first....and the "Walk Off" starts...now!
[Shane Diamond mouths "Walk Off?!" as the crowd begins to buzz. Diamond shakes his head and points to the ring, telling Chance he wants to fight!]
Jack: You've got to be kidding me. This is... this is... wrong!!
[Chance drops the microphone and begins to strut down the ramp way, a picture of modelesq profession. Obviously, having down this hundreds upon hundreds of times in the past. The photographers letting off a Tsunami of Flashbulbs that would make "VVV" smile in his grave, if he was dead of course. Fortuna reaching the end of the ramp way, looking to the right and shifting his posture. Twisting to the left, posture checked again and longing stare given to the crowd he obviously despised, but he was going to make love to the camera like it was Tiffany Lane! Turning around, Chance made his way back up the ramp and ducked into the changing room shutting the door behind himself quicker than "Ono Hezonfaia" goes through partners!]
Vik: What... the... hell?
[As the doors to Chance's training room swung open again, it would have been "Anarchy" in the streets of Milan or Pair! New York City or London! But since was Nashville, it was just more "Entropy" to the atmosphere of the crowd. Wearing a hand picked piece from this summer's "Christian" Dior line, Chance once more made the long walk down the ramp way. It was going for the kill early, unleashing the BLUE STEEL upon the unworthy Nashville crowd. Turning back up the rampway, Chance knew that it was only a matter of time and Shane Diamond had a "Toughill" to climb if he wanted to get back into this one.]
Jack: Shane Diamond still standing in the ring watching this tirade. I really think Chance is making himself at home on that runway.
Vik: He's an excellent model, Jack!!! Look at his grace... his posture.
Jack: I'd rather not.
[You couldn't hear a "Whisper" over the boos of the crowd while the door swung open again, Chance changed once more into another piece of the Christian Dior summer fashion line. His walk was sweeter than "Sugar" as he passed by the flashbulbs that may have given people epileptic seizures, taking his position bonce more, he stood like a regal "Knight" slowly scanning around the sea of people. A "Frost" came over the crowd as their hatred of the original "New York's Finest" only grew by leaps and bounds that El Rey Futuro could have accomplished.]
Jack: How many outfits does he have?
Vik: Millions. I want to borrow some of them.
Jack: Wouldn't go well with the leather I'm afraid.
[Oh, Shane Diamond was a bigger loser than "Code of Honor" tonight, and the "Heartless" nature of Chance planned to put him down once and for all. Looking like a "Poet" coming from a reading at the library. Chance removed the Heather Owen inspired glasses from the bridge of his nose and tucked them into the front pocket of the shirt during his walk. The cameras cut away from Chance to former American Idol, and now Nashville Country singing star Bucky "Covington" in the front row booing along with the rest of the crowd. Oh, this segment was going to leave you all in "Pain" alright, but to Chance, he was like Joe "Montana" in the super bowl.]
Jack: Ugh...
[Andrew Davis had nothing on Chance's face, he was not only "Young & Beautiful", but also was "Rich". Who wouldn't fall in love with him, if he wasn't such a jerk, you probably wouldn't be so "Angst" ridden about the whole situation. This time when he walked, every step built to his final posse like a blooming "Orchid". Such "Cunning", such a "General" on the runway, such a right cross to the fan from "Shane Diamond"! Oh wait, that wasn't a name drop!]
*SMACK!*
Vik: DIAMOND JUST POPPED CHANCE OUT OF NOWHERE!! How dare he ruin that beautiful smile and those designer clothes!!
Jack: Diamond picking Chance up and clotheslines him into the set props!!!
[CROWD GOES WILD!!!]
Jack: Diamond couldn't stand it any longer!!! He's picking Chance up... oh God!!! DIAMONDGASM ON THE RAMP!!!
[FANS CHEERING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Vik: Diamond now tearing the set apart!!! C'mon!!!
[A huge heel pop erupts as Rich Patterson shows up!!! He clotheslines Diamond from behind. Diamond hits the ramp and topples over. Rich picks him up and punches him right in the face... but Diamond retaliates with a quick right!! Rich grabs Diamond by the head and sets him up.]
Vik: DDT!!!! HAHAHA! DDT!!!
Jack: Rich SAVING his tag team partner!!! Diamond is out cold. And Rich now helping Chance to his feet. Chance is disgusted. Listen to the crowd!!! They hate these two men!!!
[The crowd break into boos as Chance and Rich leave the stage area. Jimmy Graves and the EMTs make their way out to check on Diamond.]
Jack: This is chaotic. Who knows what will develop of this. Let's go backstage.
[Backstage we find General Manager Sam Bevins watching the events of the night's show on the monitors. Sensing a presence behind her she turns and is forced to look up, almost a foot or more up as Marissa Monet looks down at her. There are applause from the fans watching the confrontation on the SPW tron in the arena.]
SSB: What do you want, Monet? Can't you see I'm busy?
Marissa: What do I want? I want a qualifying match for the World Title shot at Wrestlebowl.
[Samantha still looks up at Marissa. She crosses her arms over her chest.]
SSB: And what makes you think you deserve that?
Marissa: (eyebrow raised) Deserve's got nothing to do with it.
[She holds for a beat as she lets the Clint Eastwood line marinate in the air. She breaks out into an easy grin.]
Marissa: It's my dream the same as anybody else here. And I've earned it. I've been the good soldier and I am the tag-team champion. The rest of the crew haven't been as good as I have been. They haven't
worked as hard as I have without reward. I could force my way in, like I did at Charity Carnage, but I want to earn it. Same as anybody else. You're the one who could make it happen.
[Marissa lays her hand on Samantha's shoulder.]
Marissa: Please, make it happen.
[Samantha continues to stare at Marissa. Marissa removes her hand from Samantha's shoulder. Samantha looks up at Marissa.]
SSB: Marissa, I've always respected women who are in power. Feminists. The women's rights movement. Women who turn their blind eye to men and do anything to overcome the oppression. I will, however, say one thing about this when it comes to you.
[Samantha somewhat grins.]
SSB: You've never impressed me.
[And there it is. Those four words hang in the air. Marissa's expression remains largely unchanged, but the smile grows weak around the corners and the hopeful light in her eyes is replaced by something much darker. Something cold and wicked.]
Marissa: Really? I suppose this is the part where I should ask you why I've never impressed you.
SSB: Marissa, if I owed every person here an explanation of why they weren't the World Champion, I'd be working way too much overtime. If you want a world title shot so bad, why don't you do something to prove yourself on the next Conquest? You're already a tag team champion. Use that to your advantage. After you figure out how to do that, then maybe... just maybe.... we'll talk business.
[Samantha turns back to the monitors and continues to watch the action. Marissa's hand clamps down on her shoulder and spins Samantha around violently to face her. The Great Black Shark is staring at Samantha Bevins now.]
Great Black Shark: Samantha, I'm not playing games with you. I want my shot at the Title at Wrestlebowl. I want it fairly. You set up any hurdle you want. I'm going to knock it down. Don't ever forget,
Bevins, that unlike Nikki James and Tiffany Lane, I don't need you. But I don't want to take shortcuts. When I make history, Bevins, it will to spite bitches like you. So go ahead and set up your hoops. This time I'll jump through them and when I become the World Champion you're going to choke on it, jealous bitch.
[Samantha's blank expression turns into somewhat of a sarcastic one. She somewhat grins.]
SSB: I suggest you take your hand off me. I think you should realize that I'm your boss. I could easily end your dream and terminate your pathetic living existence in the SPW at any time I wanted to. Do you understand that?
[Marissa is still staring down at Samantha, her hand still clamped on her shoulder.]
SSB: I didn't think you would. But understand this and understand it well. If you want to go to Wrestlebowl, I will give you your own road. When you defeat both Vince Viper and Andrew Davis, come back then.
[The Great Black Shark's eyes begin to glint. That smile that has been weakly hanging around her mouth transforms into something monstrous. The Great Black Shark's eyes roll over white and flutter with an inhuman orgasmic pleasure. The Great Black Shark's whole body shakes as she lets out a soul deep sigh. She pounds her fists together repeatedly. A final spasm shakes loose the reverie. Then her eyes snap back to hazel and the spell is broken. Marissa blinks back at Samantha.]
Marissa: And I thought you were going to give me a challenge.
[With that sentiment in the air, she walks off. Samantha shakes her head at Monet, focusing back on the monitors as we fade out.]
World Title Tournament Qualifying Match Main Event
VILE VINCE VIPER vs STEVE GREEDY vs JAMES O'CONNOR
Jack: And we are back in time for our Ascension main event. All three men in the ring!! Yes, we mean three!! On this inaugural fight Steve Greedy has thrown down the gauntlet and inserted himself into the qualifier match. Greedy in the ring and looking to compete. Vile Vince Viper none too pleased to see Steve Greedy in his qualifier match, as Greedy doesn't care about the Power Structure's truce with The Family.
Vik: Yah man and at this is JOC who is just caught in the middle! James doesn't want to see Greedy and Viper take up the ring with his qualifier, his chance into the World Title main event of Wrestlebowl. James has been a Shootfire loyalist through and through and this is his chance to get in the ring and fight for a shot at the gold and these two veterans once again putting themselves over everyone else. Man James has got to stay focused or this chance at the biggest match of the year is over.
[James paces, working his wrist as the fans cheer out in Nashville, and circling around kicks a leg to lock up as Referee Todd Lucchesi calls for the bell, and Greedy and Viper lock up! Both men struggle for position as James jumps to smack the double dropkick!!]
[HUGE FACE POP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Jack: O'CONNOR knocking into both! Viper off balance, Greedy up, JAMES with the fist to the head!! Strikes him down!!
[FANS CHEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Vik: Viper up! And JOC gives him a taste! VVV off balance and James with the snapmare, throws Viper over and Greedy from behind! Waistlock-
Jack: JOC with the reverse! PICKUP AND GUTBUSTER ON THE GM!!
[HUGE POP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Vik: Viper up and JAMES RUNS HIM OVER!!!
Jack: GREEDY UP AND JOC WITH THE BEAUTIFUL STANDING DROPKICK!!!
[Viper goes to the ropes as James charges to smash the clothesline and flip the former World's Champ backwards into a whirl, the albino hitting the apron and crashing to the floor!! JOC yells out as Steve charges from behind and James sidesteps, tossing Greedy over the ropes! Steve manages to hang on as JOC runs the buckles, jumps to spring off the second and flies back shooting the dropkick right into the Rich One sending him right off the apron!!]
[FANS CHEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Jack: AND THAT'S HOW HE ELIMINATED LUKE KINSEY FROM THE BRING YOUR OWN WEAPON BATTLE ROYAL!!
Vik: James O'Connor talking trash hehe! Showing a little moxie, a little venom of his own!
Jack: Viper around one side of the ring, shouting at Steve Greedy, for the first time Greedy actually taking James O'Connor into account, and from the look on his face, he doesn't want to see this at all.
[Steve shakes his head in shock and just walking around the side, makes his way up the stairs. He orders the Referee to keep JOC back if he values his job. James shouts for Greedy to enter, but as Viper slithers in on the far side James runs and begins to throw the stomps into VVV's back! The fans roar until Greedy rushes and smacks the double axe, right into JOC's head!!]
Jack: GREEDY smashing into James! And hauling him over up into the air and SNAPS THE SUPLEX!!
Vik: James hurting and Greedy pulling him up, twisting his face over as he lays the badmouth in! Steve curses in his face and Viper wraps in the chokehold from behind!!
[CROWD SCREAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Jack: VIPER WITH THE STRANGLEHOLD AND GREEDY FLAILING TO GET FREE!!
Vik: JAMES UP AND RUNS THE SPEAR THROUGH STEVE SMASHING BOTH BACK INTO THE SIDE!!
[MONSTER POP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Jack: INTO THE ROPES!! And James pulling Viper and Greedy over, THEY SEND HIM RIGHT OVER THE TOP WITH THE BACKDROP!!
[HUGE HEEL POP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Vik: JAMES SENT TO THE FLOOR!!
Jack: AND GREEDY AND VILE BEATING EACH OTHER WITH FISTS!!
[The fans throw up a cheer as Viper and Greedy are slinging punches into each other's heads!! Steve slams the left cross and Viper answers back with a european uppercut! Greedy hits the mat and rolls up to grab the waistband, wrenching Viper over his head! Viper smacks the canvas and gets up hurting, and Greedy goes right to the face, gouging at the flesh as VVV screams out in agony!]
Vik: GREEDY torturing Vile and these two will hate each other until both men are retired hell, till both men are in the grave! The successor to VVV with the headlock and snap into the air, straight up for the delayed vertical SITS DOWN SCREWDRIVER!!
[CROWD ROARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Vik: GREEDY MUTHAFUCKIN SCREWDRIVER!
Jack: AND STEVE WITH THE PIN REFEREE IN POSITION THIS IS FOR THE WRESTLEBOWL MAIN EVENT
1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jack: JAMES O'CONNOR BREAKS IT UP!!
[James gets up as Greedy rolls away, and Viper twitches as James dives to make the cover himself! Winding in the leg he lays across the chest and grapevines the arm!]
Vik: HA! JOC STEALING THE PIN!
1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3-NOOOO! VIPER KICKS OUT!!
[VVV shoves away, as James rises and Greedy cuts him off with a running clothesline! James hits the deck as Steve stops in the ropes, scowling back and as Viper rises Greedy goes for the head to twist the man over into the spinning neckbreaker! VVV sits up and Steve charges the side, coming off the ropes to jump and slam the kneedrop into Viper's chest!]
Jack: Greedy in command and thus so far, Vile Vince Viper unable to get a leg up in this one. Steve really threw the entire match off by inserting himself into this one and he may be heading to Wrestlebowl at the expense of VVV and JOC!
Vik: Yeah and can you imagine that!? Steve Greedy could be the new World's Champ! That would be awesome!
Jack: If by awesome you mean epic fail on all levels, then sure yeah, awesome.
Vik: Greedy taking up James and throwing him to the corner, now pounding into him rights and lefts! Body blows! And Steve with the jamming back elbow, straight into the face!!
Jack: James hurting as Steve pulls him out, locks the head and SMACKS THE DDT!
[Steve sits up and turns over as Viper kicks him in the chest! Greedy gasps as VVV jumps on the GM and begins to pound down into Steve with a series of fists!! Greedy is fighting to block as the fans in Nashville go wild! Steve kicks and struggles as Viper pounds him down, beating his head into the mat and just grips the sides, banging Steve's skull off the canvas! VVV gets up and throws the horned hands into the air!!]
[CROWD ROARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Jack: JAMES O'CONNOR ON THE TOP ROPE!!!
Vik: VIPER TURNING AROUND! AND JAMES OFF THE TOP HE HITS THE MISSILE DROPKICK!!!
[MONSTER FACE POP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Jack: VIPER knocked down and James O'Connor on him, whip to the ropes! Viper into the side and JOC running full blast, LEAPS FOR THE SHINING WIZARD!!
Vik: VIPER MOVES! JAMES CRASHES HIS KNEE INTO THE CORNER!!
Jack: VIPER HAULING JAMES OVER HIS HEAD! AND SITS DOWN SPW DRIVER!!!
Vik: GREEDY THROUGH THE AIR! BASEMENT DROPKICK INTO VILE'S FOREHEAD!
****CRRRAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!****
Jack: STEVE blasted Viper over! And now pulling up James! Locking the front chancery he's setting up for the Bankrupt DDT!!
Vik: JAMES WITH THE NORTHERN LIGHTS NO!! GREEDY BLOCKED IT! AND WRENCHING JAMES INTO THE AIR HE LANDS THE BANKRUPT DDT!!!
[FANS ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Jack: GREEDY NOT DONE! HE WANTS VVV! PULLING VIPER UP AND WHIP TO THE ROPES!! STEVE OFF THE SIDE AND CHARGING FOR THE SATAN'S STRUT!!!!!
Vik: VIPER WITH THE SATAN'S STRUT INTO GREEDY!!!!
[FANS SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Jack: GREEDY IS DOWN! GREEDY IS DOWN! AND VIPER WITH THE COVER!
Vik: HE HAS THE TIGHTS!
1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stone: AND YOUR WINNER! AND THE FINAL ENTRANT INTO THE WORLD TITLE MATCH AT WRESTLEBOWL... VILE "VINCE" VIIIIIIIIPERRR!!!!!
[EARTH SHATTERING HEEL POP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Vik: VILE VINCE VIPER HAS DONE IT! HE IS GOING TO WRESTLEBOWL! HE WILL BE COMPETING AT THE MAIN EVENT FOR THE VACANT WORLD TITLE! HE JOINS ANDREW DAVIS, PIETKA AND MARCUS DAVIS AND ONE OF THOSE FOUR WILL BE OUR NEW SPW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!!!
Jack: AND JAMES CAN'T BELIEVE IT! STEVE GREEDY LAID OUT, HE JUST COST HIM HIS SHOT AT THE WORLD TITLE!!
[James is sitting up in shock, completely disappointed as he stares across the ring at the Referee raising VVV's hand! O'Connor stares at Greedy as Vile Vince Viper cheers himself on, throwing it in the face of the raging SPW crowd! James holds his face as VVV shouts out to the fans, motioning for the SPW World Championship belt around his waist!]
[MEGA HEEL POP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Jack: And the fans booing because they see who is making his way down the aisle!
Vik: It looks like "Jester" Chad Allen is coming to put in his part to the Family's "Rapture" of SPW, and he is not coming empty handed...
[Our shot now moves to JCA, quickly moving down the aisle with a kendo stick in his hand, but there is something definitely different about it from a normal kendo stick...]
Vik: Jester is sliding under the bottom rope and heading RIGHT for O'Connor....
[CRACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Jack: And Jester BLASTS him with that cane, and James O'Connor is BLEEDING badly from that shot!!
Vik: That is what is different about that cane!! He has it lined with what I can only assume are RAZORS!!
[CRACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
[CRACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
[CRACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Jack: This is already hard to watch! Jester Chad Allen has struck O'Connor with that cane once in the head, and 3 times on the back!! He is leaving him a bloody mess!!
Vik: And it seems now the only thing he can do is cover up!! The damage has been done in no time flat for the Wicked Clown!!
[Jester looks to VVV, and asks for a mic, which VVV goes to ringside and RIPS out of Steve Stone's hand and tosses to The Jester. Jester gets down on one knee, speaking right to JOC]
JCA: This is not personal, James, this is simply bad timing on your part. This is what a normal person would call "wrong place, wrong time".
[Jester stands up, holding the now bloody cane in his hand, looking over the crowd with an evil grin.]
[MASSIVE HEEL HEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
JCA: But you see, you are ALL in the wrong place at the wrong time. I hold ALL of you responsible for what happened to Iris, but since I am forced by your supposed laws to not come out there and punish all of you the way I am punishing the others, I will continue to punish you all by causing chaos and disorder with my Family, until such a time that my Iris is back by my side where she belongs.
[CRACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
[CRACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Jack: Jester landing MORE shots on James O'Connor!!
JCA: This is not the end, this is only the beginning. This Rapture is FAR from over.
[And with that Jester drops the mic onto the mat with a thud, quietly walking out of the ring.]
Vik: The Family is going to continue this massacre until someone gets Iris back to her whacked out version of "normal"!!
[...Massive jeers follow!!! In the ring, James O’Connor coughs up some blood, the first sign of regaining consciousness. Bloodshot eyes slowly opening, O’Connor stares up at the lights, and then shifts his weight, turning to see JCA exit through the entrance into the backstage area. What happened? A scarlet cloth flies through the air, catching his potentially concussed attention. Reaching down, The Shootfire Devil wipes the crimson stain off of O’Connor’s lips. A final wipe removes the last of the gore... JOC stares up in baffled confusion. A kind, paternal gaze glints off the king of snakes’ electric blue contact lenses. If you could guess what he’s going to do, he wouldn’t be Vile “Vince” Viper. Saying a few calming words about the valiant effort, Vile slowly helps The Cunning under the bottom rope to waiting officials. It takes a few staggers before James regains his footing.]
#BUMP#
[Reaching through the ropes, Vile retrieves a microphone from a production assistant, thanking the young man as he switches it on. Finding Viper still in the ring, all 5000 fans in attendance start to boo, and throw trash. Vile waves an arm down at James O’Connor as he makes his way around ringside. The fans would rather throw shit at VVV, but since he’s bringing it up, they start cheering The Cunning.]
[Crowd: MONSTER FACE POP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
JOC! JOC! JOC! JOC! JOC! JOC!
JOC! JOC! JOC! JOC! JOC! JOC!
JOC! JOC! JOC! JOC! JOC! JOC!
JOC! JOC! JOC! JOC! JOC! JOC!
[James O’Connor raises an arm to another monster pop... Vile paces back and forth pensively waiting for the Cunning appreciation squad to hurry the fuck up.]
Vile Vince Viper <broad smile>: That’s right, let him have it! That young man just burned this place down, <chuckle> HOT! Let him know... give him love... SSSPW... _THAT_ is _YOUR_ FUTURE!!!
[Crowd: MEGA MONSTER FACE POP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
[The chants continue until James O’Connor makes his way to the back. Vile can wait... he’s patient.]
Vile Vince Viper: ...Okay... so what did I jussst win?
Or right. A chance to win back MY TITLE at Wressstlebowl... <proud smile> Wressstlebowl... ssshit... ONLY the BIGGESSST EVENT in our sport. I can remember when I first broke into the North American sport; Wressstlebowl was always spoken of in hushed tonesss. It was the show that all us curtain jerkersss desperately wanted to be involved in, could only DREAM about participating on. Now... all these years later... not only am I appearing on my very FIRST Wressstlebowl... I’m MAIN EVENTING Wressstlebowl... I’M going to win back MY WORLD TITLE in the MAIN EVENT of WRESSSTLEBOWL!!!
[The crowd is stoked to order Wrestlebowl off of pay per view, but don’t care for Vile promos at all.]
Vile Vince Viper: Firssst... Charity Carnage... I compete with LEGENDSSS like Luke Kinsssey, Joe Petrow, Ssspectre... after years of being looked down on; I was finally being accepted as one of the boys. Now within a few short months, WRESSSTLEBOWL? Are you FUCKING kidding me? It’s like I’m finally coming into my own! <broad smile> You KNOW that 2010 is the YEAR of the SSSERPENT. <it is> WRESSSTLEBOWL! I hope I have impressed upon you, what a magnificent honour this is? Have I? I mean... when Rosssendorf... or was it Rick Ssstylesss... handed it over to my boy, AJ, I was ecssstatic. What we were doing was making a difference... we were being handed the keys to the kingdom. <huge grin> WRESSSTLEBOWL!!!
THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS issss my BIG chance.
Ssso I just wanted to say, I’m really looking forwards, and hope you are too... thanksss...
[Lowering the microphone, Vile walks towards the ropes exiting the ring...]
[...]
[...wait for it.]
[Stepping halfway through the ropes, Vile stops... did he forget something. Oh right. Spinning around, Vile re-enters still trying to be pleasant...]
Vile Vince Viper: Wait...Wressstlebowl X... been doing it for a good ten years? I’ve been around for ten years... <furrowed brow> kind of makes you wonder... if it’s the BIGGESSST sssuperssshow in our sport...
<arched eyebrow> ...why haven’t I been on it before?
<double take> I mean... how could it be a big show, without your old Uncle Vile? Sssoundsss kind of amateur hour. Doesn’t sound like the kind of event that deserves a star of my calibre? I mean, why didn’t Rosssendorf beg me to participate? ...Or when it ssswitched over to SSSPW, why wouldn’t AJ bring me on? Doesn’t make sense... well... that’s okay. <flinch> Much like SSSPW... WRESSSTLEBOWL doesssn’t DESSSERVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!
[That hit a nerve.]
Vile Vince Viper: YEAH... going back to a previous musssing... FUCK ROSSSENDORF... FUCK SSSTYLESSS... as always, FUCK AJ BLACK... I guess what I’m trying to say is... FUCK WRESSSSTLEBOWL. Biggessst show in our sport? The biggessst show IS a high school gym seating 200, so long as the SSSCARLET SSSERPENT is main eventing! That’s all you ever need... Wressstlebowl? They had their chance to have me on it... they blew it...
I’ll _RETIRE_ before I appear at FUCKING Wressstlebowl!
[...]
In fact... I will retire.
[The garbage being thrown at the ring suddenly stops, the jeers as hushed, as it looks like Viper is finally saying something of note.]
Vile Vince Viper: Assscension might not be the NIGHT of CHAMPIONsss, <see what I did there?> but here’s an exclusssive for you... before Wressstlebowl takes place I’m calling it a career. I don’t want to be asssssociated with anything that givesss those egomaniacsss credit. Fuck that. Ssso is this the end of your dear old uncle Vile? No. We have a little under two months until Wressstlebowl, no? Well...
[Reaching into his devil pajamas pocket, Vile pulls out some papers...]
Vile Vince Viper <holding the papers up in the air>: A CONTRACT WITH GOD!!!!
[...no good can come of this.]
Vile Vince Viper: When the writing was on the wall about my omnipotent powers flying out the window, before Marsssh and Greedy could screw your sssssssssssssupreme being, I had a few papers drawn up. It was done with my GOD powersss... but it’s tied to my current contract... so basically if anyone tries to fuck with THISSS <holds up papers> my current contract is void, and we revert back to the GOD powers. <chuckle> If I wasssn’t five steps ahead; I wouldn’t be Vile Vince Viper. <fiendish grin> Basssically... I have TOTAL BOOKING POWERSSS over a single event of my choosssing...
[Damn.]
Vile Vince Viper <chuckle>: ...Remember the road to? Basssically before each pay per view, we have a fully loaded hard sell, setting up angles, and making sure we get your PPV dollarsss. Now in case you weren’t lissstening, WRESSSTLEBOWL is a PIECE OF SSSHIT... so why should we have a ROAD to Wresssssssssssssstlebowl?
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSO... instead of having the ROAD to PIECE OF SSSHIT...
[ha.]
You fans are going to see the VILE VINCE VIPER RETIREMENT SUPER SHOW.
A show in which, _I_ have the book.
_I_ have the power.
My LASSST appearance in this sport of ours... the lassst time you will EVER see the king of sssnakesss before he calls it a career. I will call in EVERY favour, I will burn EVERY bridge, and I will SSSTACK this show... I will INJURE your talent... so when you’re ssshitty Wressstlebowl comes along; people are still talking about what a BETTER fucking show my retirement card wasssssssssssssssss!!!
[...fuck.]
[Running a claw through his unkempt hair, Vile can’t help but enjoy the fact that he’ll never see THESE shitty fans again. Why didn’t he retire for good YEARS ago?]
Vile Vince Viper: Ssshootfire Pro Wressstling...You know how I said Jamesss O’Connor was your future?
He isss.
...and it’s FUCKING bleak.
[Waves of garbage hit the ring, as Vile climbs the turnbuckles striking poses...]
Jack: For Tara and Vik, I'm Jack Sharp signing off here at Ascension! HEY! Who hit me with that beer cup?!!! This is... this is getting to be too much!!! GOOD NIGHT!!!
[Out.]
© 2010 Shootfire Pro Wrestling. All Rights Reserved
Make a Free Website with Yola.
